For too many years, I entered Thanksgiving with a TON of work to be done on the backside of it.  My first week of December has often been as busy as – or busier – than any other week in the year.  It’s generally the mad client rush to ‘get in what we can get in’ before year-end. 

As a result, it’s hard for me to remember enjoying Thanksgiving all that much, at least – in recent years.

Instead, what I recall is being consumed by work over the Thanksgiving week, preparing for and anticipating all that would be required of me the week following.  And then, of course, the same onslaught often just grew and grew, snowballing into the Christmas and New Year week, leaving me zapped every January!

I remember one Thanksgiving where I spent five days – Wednesday thru Sunday – writing a course for a client that had to go to press the Monday after.  Another year, I spent the ten days around Christmas day developing a three-course curriculum for a large banking client because they wanted to ‘go live’ in Mid-January but didn’t decide this until mid-December.  (On both occasions, my family was NOT happy.)  The list of ‘Thanksgivings and Christmases barely had’ is too shameful and embarrassing and personally convicting to mention.

Being an entrepreneur in a service company – exacerbated by this year’s tough market and thin dollars – can make ‘the going’ quite rough.  As is the case for most every for-profit organization the world over, saying ‘No’ can be hazardous to one’s health, and so I have generally found a way to say ‘Yes,’ but often at my family’s expense.

So here we are, the week of Thanksgiving 2008, and how am I doing?  With all my limbs crossed and knocking on wood as I write this, I am very optimistic that I’ll have a more balanced Holiday Season this year than I can recall in a long time.

Yes, I have several curricula to write – a 12-module Leadership series, a new Strategic Thinking module, an entire semester’s worth of content for an Executive Education series, and several smaller projects too minute to mention here – but alas, for all but one of these deliverables, I have ‘more than three weeks’ to finish!

My writing time will be punctuated with two final trips for the year – but I am confident that I can pull it off and not lose my mind in the process.

My wife, daughter, and I will be spending Thanksgiving with family in and around Hilton Head Island, SC and Savannah, GA.  Something about the Southeast always calms my soul.  I don’t know if it’s the billowy moss that swings and drapes like ghosts’ linens or the easy manner of those who live there, but I find myself drawn to the area year after year.

Two of my favorite movies are The Prince of Tides and Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil.  Both possess such haunting soundtracks and engulfing moods and scenes that whenever I watch them it’s all I can do to avoid packing and heading for the airport.

And so this year, it’s away we go.  A big trip, ripe with expectation and hope and recovery at the end of a hectic, tumultuous year that runs concurrent to most people’s summary of 2008.

Ironically, as the world seemingly spins out of control, many of us are blessed with good family and health enough to find comfort in those we have known all our lives.  Thanksgiving is a fine time, as good as any, to tell them how much we love them, how much they mean to us, and how fortunate we are – despite our many losses – to either have them still, or to recall their sweet memories and all they did to prop us up on the wobbly bike of life.

My mother sent me a sweet note the other day, commenting, “You make a living by what you get.  You make a life by what you give.”

Amen.

Now get thee to thy family gathering, and rip yourself off a plump turkey leg and dig in.

Nothing says, “I’m home” like eating meat around a homemade fire.

And do your family a favor, would ‘ya please?  Try turning off the stinkin’ Blackberry for a few days.  If you can’t, try stuffing it in your sock drawer until Monday, or hand it over to someone who loves you.

Amen².

Last night, my wife and I watched "Jonestown: The Life & Death of Peoples Temple" on PBS. 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/jonestown/

It was a fantastic exposé, very well done.  And of course, the content and story itself -- the tragedy that was The Peoples Temple -- was heartbreaking, infuriating, and devastating.  There are literally hundreds of families still walking this earth that were scorched by the mania of Jim Jones.  One survivor alone lost nineteen relatives at the 'kool-aid-cyanide-suicide' which, as another survivor describes it, "Wasn't a suicide at all.  Those who did not imbibe were shot in the head."

The images of babies, mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters... 909 in all, who died that fateful day, November 18th, 1978 -- are absolutely heartwrenching.

From sociological, psychological, anthropological perspectives -- the sleep deprivation, the communal property, the preying upon and taking advantage of the weakest and poorest, the intertwined subjugation and messianic messages, the 'turning' of husband against wife / wife against husband / parents against children / children against parents / neighbor against neighbor -- were... and are predictable recipies for baking the perfect cult.

In time, the idealism that began with peace and love was eclipsed by Mr. Jones' psychoses, and a dysfunctional, fear-based organization was created that began to turn on itself like ouroboros.  And once the implosion began, it raged swiftly, reaching its predictable conclusion within hours.

As we watched the documentary from our Monday Morning Quarterback Chair... our Hindsight is 20/20 Chair... the groupthink, peer pressure, and manipulative tactics were so obvious, so heavy-handed.  It's like watching a magician AFTER he's explained the trick.  "Well of course, I saw that coming."  But too few did.  Even those who expressed an interest in the preceding weeks to 'get out' could not resist the undercurrent.  Of those who survived, approximately 80 of them were 'elsewhere' that day, including Jim Jones adopted son.  Of the 5 or so who literally 'escaped into the jungle,' they only survive today because the gunmen surrounding the compound were unable to shoot or capture them.

This all reminds me of something I read in the fantastic, albeit short book, Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, which is -- the greater the perceived losses of our current path x increasing commitment to that current path = a very difficult magnetic force to avoid.  Read the book for yourself, and you'll see how this applied to LBJ's "Great Society" and the War in Vietnam, to George W. Bush's "Iraq War" and "Surge" strategy, as well as to a decorated airline pilot who singlehandedly caused the worst airplane collision in aviation history.

It occurs to me that as organizational leaders, we are not immune from the kool-aid.  For many of us, our workplaces become a meta-family of sorts, with their own rituals, chants, slogans, values, and requirements.  We burn the midnight oil, devote ourselves wholly to the enterprise, feel guilt or remorse for giving our all yet perceiving it's never enough, and so on.

All I can say is, "Remain objective."  Welcome disagreement, keep perspective, don't over-consolidate power through excessive centralization, maintain a balance of power through diversity of thought and creativity, and always be open to contrarian perspectives and the freedom to experiment.  Sure, in the end, we must have alignment on a common course of action (or risk wasting resources, time, labor, and energy), but only after thoughtful, participative, engaged dialogue about those most important decisions that affect everyone and those who follow them.

In the end, I am haunted by the words of one Jonestown escapee who said, after describing the loss of his wife and newborn son, "I knew in my head 'this is wrong,' but I couldn't bring myself to speak the words."

“Leverage a distinctive brand plus coffee buying, production, and marketing systems to achieve premium pricing and global dominance....”

When in reality, their strategic intent says:

“Sell back to a busy customer the 20 minutes each day she will look forward to the most....”  

Thanks for the great example, J.P.

I love great quotes, just love 'em.

Knowing that I save so many, people often ask for sources and copies of those I share.  As a 'random bonus,' here are 199 great quotes that are useful in the context of leadership, management, and simply interacting with people.  I'll also throw in a few "just for fun." 

Enjoy...

1. You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone. (Al Capone)

2. A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him. (Alexander Solzhenitsyn)

3. Not much happens without a dream. And for something great to happen, there must be a great dream. Behind every great achievement is a dreamer of great dreams. (Robert Creenleaf)

4. Worshipping the teapot instead of drinking the tea. (Wei Wu Wei)

5. To change and change for the better are two different things. (German proverb)

6. What the rulebook says will change. In time all ink is disappearing ink. (William Warriner)

7. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. (Murphy’s Third Military Law)

8. What is now proved was once only imagined. (William Blake)

9. Ability is nothing without opportunity. (Napoleon Bonaparte)

10. Before we can change things we must call them by their real name. (Confucius)

11. Man has a limited biological capacity for change. When this capacity is overwhelmed, the capacity is in future shock. (Alvin Toffler)

12. Nothing is permanent except change. (Heraclitus)

13. Human inventiveness is overwhelming human adaptiveness. Our ability to judge lags behind our ability to create. (Robert Ornstein)

14. An enchanted loom where millions of flashing shuttles weave a dissolving pattern, always a meaningful pattern though never an abiding one. (Sir Charles Sherrington)

15. The city is the soul magnified. (Plato)

16. Our education system and our society discriminate against one whole half of the brain. The right hemisphere gets only the barest minimum of training, nothing compared to what we do to train the left. (Roger Perry) 

17. The trouble with our age is that it is all signposts and no destination. (Louis Kronenberger)

18. I’m an excellent driver. Have to stay in the driveway. Oh-oh. Judge Wapner at six o’clock. Three minutes. (Dustin Hoffman in Rainman)

19. Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. (George Bernard Shaw)

20. You must look into people, as well as at them. (Lord Chesterfield)

21. There is a word for the absence of stress: death. (Hans Selye)

22. Hell is other people. (Jean-Paul Sartre)

23. No matter how cynical you get, you can never keep up. (Lily Tomlin)

24. I do not like this word bomb. It is not a bomb; it is a device which is exploding. (Jacques Le Blanc, French ambassador to New Zealand, describing France’s nuclear testing)

25. People only see what they are prepared to see. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

26. Other people are not in this world to live up to your expectations. (Fritz Perls)

27. We have met the enemy and it is us. (Walt Kelly)

28. We’ve got to make this stuff we’re lost in look as much like home as possible. (Overheard at a strategy session)

29. Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. (Decharme’s Precept)

30. Next week there can’t be any crisis. My schedule is already full. (Henry Kissinger)

31. Very few things happen at the right time and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects. (Herodotus)

32. The lily is doubling in size every day. In thirty days it will over the entire pond, killing all creatures living in it. The farmer does not want that to happen but being busy with other chores, he decides to postpone cutting back the plant until it covers half the pond. The question is, on what day will the lily cover half the pond? The answer is, on the twenty-ninth day—leaving the farmer just one day to save his pond. (Old French proverb)

33. People rise to the challenge when it’s their challenge. (Anonymous)

34. Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably will themselves not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will not die. (Daniel Burnham)

35. Don’t be afraid to take a big step when one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small steps. (David Lloyd George)

36. Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. (Jonathan Kozol)

37. A great wind is blowing that gives you either imagination or a headache. (Catherine the Great)

38. Always borrow money from pessimists; they don’t expect to be paid back. (Anonymous)

39. To improve is to change. To be perfect is to change often. (Winston Churchill)

40. Educators and futurists can prepare individuals for the future by making the different images of the future more real for them. (Carl Townsend)

41. People change through observation not argument. (Will Rogers)

42. If there is another way to skin a cat, I don’t want to know about it. (Steve Kravitz)

43. Never doubt the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. That’s about the only way it has ever happened in the past. (Margaret Mead)

44. What you don’t know will always hurt you. (First Law of Blissful Ignorance)

45. I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful one hundred percent. (Horton, via Dr. Seuss)

46. It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. (Gore Vidal)

47. Attention must be paid. (Linda, in Death of a Salesman)

48. What we got here is a failure to communicate. (Strother Martin’s prison camp commander character in Cool Hand Luke)

49. We trained hard. But it seemed that every time we were beginning to form into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing. And what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization. (Gaius Petronius Arbiter, The Satyricon, first century, AD)

50. There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don’t care who gets the credit. (Anonymous)

51. A leader is someone who understands where people are going, and stands in front of them. (Gandhi)

52. It was a cross between a screwball and a changeup. It was a screwup. (Bob Patterson, describing a ninth-inning home-run pitch)

53. Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. (Emo Phillips)

54. If you haven’t struck oil in the first three minutes - stop boring! (George Jessel)

55. Just do it. (Nike)

56. Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won’t work. (Thomas A. Edison)

57. When you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind. (Lord Kelvin)

58. To the blind, all things are sudden. (Old proverb)

59. We aim above the mark to hit the mark. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

60. When I hear the word art, I reach for my Luger. (Hermann Goering)

61. Reengineering is the new scientific management. (Tom Peters)

62. Beijing - Eighteen factory workers were executed today for poor product quality at Chien Bien Refrigerator Factory on the outskirts of the Chinese capital. (Wall Street Journal, Oct. 17, 1989)

63. If you don’t have time to do it right you must have time to do it over. (Philip Crosby)

64. Nine out of Ten people who go into a store looking for a self-help book need assistance finding it. (Internet graffito)

65. Leadership is nature’s way of removing morons from the productive flow. (Dogbert, in the cartoon strip Dilbert)

66. An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. (Arab proverb)

67. Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. (Japanese proverb)

68. Fool someone once and they’ll be foolish for a day, but teach them to fool themselves and they’ll be foolish for a lifetime. (Michael Fry)

69. Management isn’t about making friends, it’s about getting things done. (Dave Marquette)

70. A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years. (Wendell L. Wilkie)

71. Feedback is the breakfast of champions. (Ken Blanchard)

72. The most important skill of managers and leaders in the years to come will be conversation. (Alan Weber)

73. It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. (St. Francis of Assisi)

74. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? (Internet graffito)

75. Now let’s all repeat the non-conformist oath. (Steve Martin)

76. The grand dogma of our times, that groups would be evenly represented in institutions and activities in the absence of discrimination, would collapse like a house of cards from a study of societies around the world. (Thomas Sowell)

77. Knock. Don’t ring bell. (Sign on Pavlov’s door)

78. Whenever a system becomes completely defined, someone discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition. (Brooke’s Law)

79. We don’t know a millionth of one percent about anything. (Thomas Edison)

80. Madness exacts its toll of us all. Please have exact change ready. (Found on the Internet)

81. Decay is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on, with diligence. (Buddha’s last words)

82. Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand-in-hand. (Unknown)

83. Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. (Henry Ford)

84. A thought may be compared to a cloud shedding a shower of words. (L.S. Vygotsky)

85. Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never exists. (The Spanish Prisoner)

86. If we both agree, one of us is unnecessary. (Mark Twain)

87. When you’re green, you’re growin’; and when you’re ripe, you rot. (Ray Kroc)

88. I destroy my enemies by making them friends. (Abe Lincoln)

89. When we’re done, the people will say, “We did it ourselves.” (Lao Tzu)

90. Everything we do, we do with an eye to something else. (Aristotle)

91. I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I simply try to dance better than myself. (Mikhail Baryshnikov)

92. Forget your opponents; always play against par. (Sam Snead)

93. One’s mind, when stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimension. (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.)

94. I present myself according to the type of relationship I wish to have with you. (Luigi Pirandello)

95. Every child of the Saxon race is educated to wish to be first. It is our system; and a man comes to measure his greatness by the regrets, envies, and hatreds of his competitors. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

96. There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self. (Hindu proverb)

97. What it lies in our power to do, it also lies in our power not to do. (Aristotle)

98. When we all think alike, then no one is thinking. (Walter Lippman)

99. Excellence is an actual state of superior performance rising out from an original state of potentiality. (Tom Morris)

100. The least important things, we think about and talk about the most, and the most important things, we think about and talk about the least. (Socrates)

101. The only constant in our world is change. (Heraclitus)

102. We are all worms. But I do believe that I am a glow worm. (Winston Churchill)

103. We do not go to work only to earn an income, but to find meaning in our lives. What we do is a large part of what we are. (Alan Ryan)

104. A useless life is an early death. (Joann Wolfgang Von Goethe)

105. A single arrow is easily broken, but not ten in a bundle. (Japanese proverb)

106. Why, when I point to the moon, do you stare at my finger? (Zen proverb)

107. Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things — a chance word, a tap on the shoulder, or a penny dropped on a newsstand — I am tempted to think, there are no little things. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

108. How can you taste my tea if you do not empty your own cup first? (Zen proverb)

109. The more laws, the less justice. (German proverb)

110. Morality, when vigorously alive, sees farther than intellect. (J.A. Froude)

111. A liar is not believed; even when he tells the truth. (Cicero)

112. Our characters are the result of our conduct. (Aristotle)

113. All those who have been wronged, or believe themselves to be wronged, are terrible; for they are always looking out for their opportunity. (Aristotle)

114. In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. (Max DePree)

115. It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis of the obvious. (Alfred North Whitehead)

116. The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor. (Max DePree, Herman Miller)

117. Give me a lever long enough and single-handed I can move the world. (Archimedes)

118. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. (Unknown)

119. Every organization has a surplus of incompetent people. (Dr. Peter of “the peter principle”)

120. A person totally wrapped up in himself makes a small package. (Harry Emerson Fosdick)

121. Desires make good servants ~ but bad masters. (ancient philosophers)

122. The way to a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. (Socrates)

123. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves. (John Henry Boetker)

124. Here lies a man who attracted better people into his service than he was himself. (Andrew Carnegie)

125. Blame is for God and little children. (Papillon)

126. Temptation resisted is the truest test of character. (Papillon)

127. Tough times don’t build character, they reveal it. (Michael Jordan)

128. Do what you love. Know your own bone, gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and grow it still. (Henry David Thoreau)

129. God resides in the details. (Einstein)

130. Prepare fish for a man, and you feed him for the day; teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. (Lao Tse Chiuh)

131. Step back in order to leap further. (Montaigne)

132. Be the change you’re trying to create. (Gandhi)

133. The chains of habit are too light to be felt, until they are too heavy to be broken. (Warren Buffet)

134. Virtually every important action in life involves educated guesswork. Too few chances reliably translate into too few victories. (Thomas Hazlett)

135. The crowning fortune of a man is to be born to some pursuit, which finds him employment and happiness, whether it be to make baskets, or broadswords, or canals, or statues, or songs. (Ralph Waldo Emerson) 

136. Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. (Stephen Vincent Benet)

137. The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life. (William James)

138. As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. (Henry David Thoreau)

139. Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed. (Peter Drucker)

140. Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest. (Laurence Sterne)

141. The secret of success is constancy of purpose. (Benjamin Disraeli)

142. Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes. (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)

143. We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it. (William Osler)

144. Dichotomizing pathologizes and pathology dichotomizes. (Abraham Maslow)

145. Only the consciousness of a purpose that is mightier than any man and worthy of all men can fortify and inspirit and compose the souls of men. (Walter Lippman)

146. Great minds have purposes, others have only wishes. (Washington Irving)

147. Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. (Mark Twain)

148. I went to the wood because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. (Henry David Thoreau)

149. Organizations are webs of participation. Change the participation, and you change the organization. (John Seely Brown)

150. The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war. (US Marine Corps)

151. Control is not leadership; management is not leadership; leadership is leadership. If you seek to lead, invest at least 50% of your time leading yourself — your own purpose, ethics, principles, motivation, conduct. Invest at least 20% leading those with authority over you and 15% leading your peers. If you don’t understand that you work for your mislabeled ‘subordinates,’ then you know nothing of leadership. You know only tyranny. (Dee Hock)

152. Those who know much about others may be smart, but those who understand themselves are even wiser. Those who control many may be powerful, but those who have mastered themselves are more powerful still. (Lao Tsu)

153. The only sustainable advantage comes from out-innovating the competition. (James Morse)

154. To be nobody but yourself, in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. (e.e. cummings)

155. The most elusive key to satisfaction is not getting what you want — but wanting what you get. (Anna Muoio)

156. Character is destiny. Don’t develop your personality, cultivate your character. (Tom Morris)

157. He has the most who is most content with the least. (Diogenes)

158. There is no greater sin than enslavement to desire, no greater curse than discontent, no greater misfortune than selfish craving. Therefore, in being content, one will always have enough. (Lao Tsu)

159. Don’t be dissatisfied with acquisition, because you’ll never have “enough.” If anything, be dissatisfied with aspiration... always want to become more. (Tom Morris)

160. Dogs and philsophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards. (Diogenes)

161. While all excesses are hurtful, the most dangerous is unlimited good fortune. (Seneca)

162. As long as we think that we don’t have enough money, we don’t ask the important questions about our lives. We use that rationalization to protect ourselves from the fearsome fact that we do have choices... and they must be made. Sometimes we hate to admit we’ll never be happy with what we have. It’s time to be happy with who we are. (Shoshana Zuboff)

163. For most people, there’s a tension between dissatisfaction and fear. On the one hand, we’re not at peace with what we see in ourselves or our lives. On the other hand, we’re afraid to move... to change... to leave behind what we have been and what is known. (Shoshana Zuboff)

164. Many people today are hungry ghosts. Bottomless stomachs, small mouths. Always wanting... and nothing is enough. (Elizabeth Gibson-Meier, Buddhism)

165. For some people, work is like standing knee-deep in running water, struggling to keep a cork submerged with a sledgehammer. At the end of your day, you’re panting and red faced. And the cork bobs on the surface... taunting you. (Paul Wood)

166. Change is not about reorganizing, reengineering, reinventing, recapitalizing. It’s about reconceiving. When you reconceive something, creativity will flood your mind. (Dee Hock)

167. The best learning takes place through play. Airplanes are never built, cars are never made, oil platforms are never constructed without first building and playing with models. It is through dialogue and the prototype process that people learn how to do things. (Arie De Geus)

168. History is littered with people who “make it” and then crash. It’s a drama that has unfolded in every field of human endeavor since the beginning of time. (Tom Morris)

169. The four marks of public success are Money, Power, Fame, and Status. As long as they are used as resources, not goals, most people are okay. But when asking “how much is enough,” the answer is usually... “I’ll tell you when I get there.” Aristotle taught that desires feed on themselves. We must not seek these as outcomes, but as levers. (Tom Morris)

170. Do not emulate he who leads without managing; or he who manages without leading. Having one without the other is like day without night. Together, the two form one — complete, balanced. Divided, they remain a tale untold. (D.B. Lee)

171. Values are... The beliefs, principles, or standards which, when held in high regard, influence judgment and shape subsequent behavior. (Middle English, from Old French, from the Latin valere, meaning, to be of strong worth)

172. If you want to know what someone’s values are, look at his calendar and his checkbook. Since time and money are two of our most finite resources, they sometimes bottleneck the most noble ambitions. (Richard Leider)

173. Values are expressed not by what we say we wish for, but by what we really do. We love our families but we can’t count many friends with intact ones anymore…We love our children, but how many children come home to empty houses during the day? We believe in families, but how many families sit down to eat together anymore?…What are the real American values? Look at who our heroes are. They aren’t the people who volunteer in the soup kitchens; they aren’t struggling writers and artists… mainly they are the rich and famous and the successful and the beautiful… perhaps the best indicator of what we really are is what we spend our money on or what we watch on television. Look at what we read. Look at what we choose to do with our spare time. That’s what we value. (Stephen Covey)

174. The notion of situational ethics can be applied to values as well. As leaders, one major responsibility is articulating those values which you consider non-negotiable. In our personal lives we call this setting boundaries. Allowing articulated values to be negotiated away compromises your ability to effectively lead. This idea of leadership courage is all but gone in many organizations, communities, and families. (D.B. Lee) 

175. In the end, values, like ethics, should not flutter in the winds of political correctness, relationships, or appearances, but rather, should be bonded to our inner core and our character. (D.B. Lee)

176. When your time has come and gone, it is not what was said that matters most, but what was done. How will you serve? What will your legacy be? (D.B. Lee)

177. A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. (Mark Twain)

178. Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. It satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening — it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. (Arnold Palmer)

179. Joys shared are doubled, sorrows shared are halved. (Katherine Ferrari)

180. Do the thing, and you shall have the power; but they who do not do the thing have not the power. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

181. Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way. (Abraham Lincoln)

182. You only lose energy when life becomes dull in your mind. Your mind gets bored and therefore tired of doing nothing. Get interested in something! Get absolutely enthralled in something! Get out of yourself! Be somebody! Do something. The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have. (Norman Vincent Peale)

183. The purpose of education is to replace an empty or cluttered mind with an open one. (Malcolm Forbes)

184. I have never let schooling interfere with my education. (Mark Twain)

185. Only the educated are free. (Epictetus)

186. Ye can lead a man to the university, but ye can’t make him think. (Finley Peter Dunne)

187. There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. (Mark Twain)

188. We must dare to think ‘unthinkable’ thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing world. We must learn to welcome and not to fear the voices of dissent. We must dare to think about ‘unthinkable things’ because when things become unthinkable, thinking stops and action becomes mindless. (James W. Fulbright)

189. The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat. (Napoleon Hill)

190. If your determination is fixed, I do not counsel you to despair. Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance. (Samuel Johnson)

191. The man who writes about himself and his own time writes about all people and about all time. (George Bernard Shaw)

192. Worry is like a rocking chair — it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. (Dorothy Galyean)

193. I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent. As simplistic as this may sound, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret. (Anthony Robbins)

194. Because a fellow has failed once or twice, or a dozen times, you don’t want to set him down as a failure till he’s dead or loses his courage — and that’s the same thing. (George Lorimer)

195. Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience. (Francis Bacon)

196. Understand that you, yourself, are no more than the composite picture of all your thoughts and actions. In your relationships with others, remember the basic and critically important rule: If you want to be loved, be lovable. If you want respect, set a respectable example! (Denis Waitley)

197. A birthday is not simply the day you were born. Over the course of your lifetime, it is the single day upon which people celebrate your existence. Do not frown upon it as merely “another day,” for it is YOUR DAY and the chance for others to acknowledge what you mean in their lives. (D.B. Lee)

198. Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve... You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. (M.L. King, Jr.)

199. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. (Nelson Mandella’s inauguration)

The summer I turned twelve, my parents dragged me and my big sister to our great uncle’s homestead in Midland, TX for a family reunion.  After graduating with a degree in petroleum engineering from Texas A&M in 1938, Rufe Bynum served in WWII from  1941 to 1945.  In 1946, he joined an organization named Core Laboratories where he would serve as a tremendous leader for many years.  Resulting from his business acumen and myriad investments, Rufe and his wife were millionaires many times over.  As a young, impressionable boy, his lifestyle dazzled me.  His garage was full of Cadillacs and Mercedes cars, his property was a huge expanse of landscaped green, and he had an elevator in his home because his knees had failed him in the war. 

The family reunion was a roaring success.  Dozens of relatives congregated together for the first time in many years, and I was finally able to put faces to the names that had been spoken in our home for so many years.  As the evening quieted, people settled into meaningful conversations in every nook and cranny of Rufe’s backyard, and I found myself alone with him by the barbeque grill where he stood tall in his overalls, shiny tongs engulfed in his large hand.  He leaned in, placed his free hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently as his twinkly eyes and white hair radiated with the crackling flames in the background.  “Talk to me, son.  Tell me something: what will you do with your life?” 

I stammered,  “My life?  Um, I don’t know.  You know I’m only twelve, right?”

“Yes, Blake.  I know you’re a young man, but it’s never too early to start thinking about these things.  After all, you never know when you might be called up.” 

“Well, Sir.  To be honest, I’ve never really thought about it.”

And then it happened; he eased slowly down, forcing his bum knees to work with him, and when he was finally just slightly shorter than me, he stared deep into my eyes and said the words that ring as clear today – a quarter of a century later – as they did on that warm summer night by the grill.  “Blake, my boy.  Listen to me now.  Life’s short.  Real short.  You can’t appreciate that in your position, because you’re on the front end of it.  But I’m telling you, as you get further into it, the roads rush up to meet you, and before you know it, you’re looking in the rearview mirror at life.  And all the things you love, the people you love, they’ll all fade away.  You’ll say goodbye to friends, girlfriends, even your parents.  Why, I hope you’ll be kind enough to attend my funeral to pay your respects.  But here’s the deal: life’s too short to live off-purpose, and no amount of money is worthwhile if you hate what you do.  Like my daddy told me, ‘If you love what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life.’  You think about what I’m telling you, and find something you love to do, because you’ll be doing it for a lifetime.  Do that, rather than chasing money, and you’ll be rich in every way that really matters.”

Surprisingly, while I was only twelve at the time, what Uncle Rufe said made complete sense.  In my lifetime, albeit short compared to Rufe’s eighty years of wisdom-building, I have observed in others, and experienced in myself, the importance of doing what fulfills, rather than simply chasing dollars.  I have coached and counseled hundreds of financially successful leaders, many of whom are emotionally, spiritually, physically, intellectually, or socially bankrupt.  Likewise, I have met what is described in Zen Buddhism as stomachless ghosts – those individuals whose appetite for material goods can never be satiated.  The more they get, the more they want.  I’ll always remember a man named Mark Scharenbroich, who spoke to my high school graduating class and warned us against, “Promising yourself happiness when you achieve the next milestone.  You’ll always be reaching for the house, the car, the degree, the person, the money… and never be satisfied with YOU.  Contentment is not getting what you want, it’s wanting what you have.”  And finally, I remember the wisdom of Joe Coey, a dear family friend who describes “wealth is freedom and choices.  Those who have no freedom and have no choices are impoverished.  When you must work to live, rather than live to work, you’re broke.”   

All this wisdom – handed down from Uncle Rufe, Mark Scharenbroich, Joe Coey – has greatly affected my own choices in life, yet it pales in comparison to the words of Jesus Christ, who spoke of money in sixteen out of forty parables.  In fact, Jesus spoke of money far more than any other topic.  Does this surprise you?  It surprised me initially, just as my uncle’s words surprised me, but as we age, I believe we all come to terms with the utility of money, and we see that it is a common denominator in so many facets of life.  Like it or not, Jesus knew that money was potentially as influential in our lives as health, love, faith, hope, integrity, etc.  The extent to which we can tame our own desires and master them greatly affects the scope of our entire lives.

The word vocation (one’s occupation or profession) derives from the Latin vocare which means, to be called.  We are each called to be someone specific – to be someone on-purpose.  Our two most finite resources, Time and Money, are great indicators of what someone values.  If you ever wish to know what matters to a person, see where they spend their time and money.  Go through their calendar and their checkbook.  Know this, and you’ll know where their heart is.  May we all have someone who will teach us how to be a person of substance, depth, contribution, and – in the end – how to build wealth in the truest sense of the word...  the origin of the word wealth actually derives from the word health, and refers to three particular attributes: happiness, prosperity, and well-being.  Money alone won’t bring you any of these things, but true wealth (it its broadest sense) facilitates giving, investments in others, contributions to those in need – and such philanthropy goes a long way toward bringing a sense of personal purpose. 

Remember, life’s short.  Be selective about what truly matters to you.  Build a life of wealth that affords you freedoms, choices, and purpose – and that allows you to help others and sponsor their dreams.  Accept in your bones that money, although the currency of our day, is not the end-all.

By way of encouragement, may this lift you up today.

And tomorrow.

And beyond.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPLCaAu_H2U

In the past month, with increasing frequency, a number of people have asked, "What suggestions do you have for our people during these difficult times."

Here are 3 that I hope may prove helpful across the following weeks, months, and years:

1. Control What You Can Control.  One of the greatest mistakes employees and leaders make during difficult times is to be distracted, worried, or altogether consumed by forces and issues outside their control.  I always encourage people to think like archers and 'aim for the bullseye.'  Aim for what you can CONTROL, then INFLUENCE, then ANTICIPATE, and let the rest go.  (Write it on balloons and set them free in a field, or Pray them away, or Tell a friend and then drop it.  Do something, then nothing... rather than just "gripe, worry, fret, vent.")

2. Accept that Difficult Change is about three things -- Perceptions (of loss or gain), Feelings (of worry/regret or hope), and Choices (to disengage or engage).  During tumultuous times, attend to your thoughts and what you 'tell yourself' about change (e.g., "Do I sense loss or gain here?").  Attend to your feelings (e.g., "Do I feel afraid, worried, regretful, angry, hurt, betrayed, confused?").  And own your choices... because during Change, WE are responsible for the choices we make.  Some people choose to be 'reactive,' others 'inactive,' and still others 'proactive.'  The choice is yours....  Generally, when people perceive LOSS they have NEGATIVE FEELINGS and they DISENGAGE.  But when they perceive GAIN they have POSITIVE FEELINGS and they ENGAGE.  As a leader, always attend FIRST to people's perceptions and the dramatic tapes they play in their heads.  Modify the tapes or, as some have said, 'rewrite the code,' and you can change a great deal for the better.  (As, for example, in cases of addictions.)

3. Manage your Energy and Attitude.  During difficult times, energy diffuses and attitudes degrade.  To lead others, help them 'arrest' their energy and focus it on something they can Control or Influence, and where they can experience some 'tiny victories.'  Do this, and their attitude will improve correspondingly as they realize they are not corks bobbing in the ocean.  Employment comes and goes, but our Personhood is for all time.

In closing, remember: During times of tough change, a great leader's focus will shift appropriately to tending to 'people issues' also and creating the healthiest possible environment because, without this, patients die on the gurney from sepsis and infection resulting from the toxicity of their environment while we unwittingly busy ourselves with the wrong things.

Better to do the right things 'satisfactorily' than the wrong things 'exemplarily¹.' 

-------------------------------------------------

¹And yes, it IS a word! http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=exemplarily

Wow, these are tough times.  What a rough week...

In the past few days, three people in our '1° of separation circle' have died, and a fourth is in the hospital.  All from natural, though unexpected, traumatic, and difficult-to-accept causes.  It's just surreal....

And literally TODAY, two dear friends have uprooted their families and departed to far-flung destinations to 'try again.'  To rebuild anew -- new jobs, new locations, new circumstances... refreshed dreams.  Good for you, dear friends, and may -- (as they say in Ireland) -- the road rise up to meet you.

I have yet another friend who is applying to HBS for a Fall '09 start.  I think that's a great strategy -- there is less occurring in the way of business than usual; might as well use the fallow period to learn and plant deeper, knowledge-drenched roots.  You go, girl!

But alas, for those on the homefront, experiencing loss or change or transition or burnout, remember the wisdom of so many who preceded us: The low-performers will generally perform even lower during stressful times; be vigilant and mindful that during this time when we must all 'do the most with the least,' that we do not relent.

An enormous, 25-year-long meta-analysis published recently (that included interviews with over 1,000,000 employees and 80,000 managers across 400 U.S. based companies) revealed that 80% of U.S. managers spend approximately 2/3rds of their time on the 'lowest performers in the organization.'

Do you know what this means?  It means the rewards for High Performers are twofold: Overwork and Abandonment. 

So, during difficult times, when you may feel that your shoulder is being rubbed to the nub, stay alert.  Invest in the High Performers also, because even the slightest improvements in THEIR performance can often yield geometric improvements when compared to the contributions of C players.  After all, a 10% improvement in a $1,000,000 salesperson is equivalent to a 200% improvement in a $50,000 salesperson... and these could be the literal trade-offs and results when you invest the same number of hours with each.

Of course, we shall not abandon those who struggle -- every organization has a bell-curve, and we all find ourselves at the wrong tail every now and again.  But nor should we accept or perpetuate Overwork and Abandonment as the spoils of high performance.

Some of you 'may' remember my comments from 10/24/2008 regarding my plea to a dear mentor to provide some 'audio wisdom' for a forthcoming leadership seminar for the USDA Forest Service to be conducted the week of 11/03/2008 in Colorado Springs.

Well, that week has come and gone, and Lou Romero delivered! 

I know some of his wisdom might be a bit nichey -- after all, his comments are addressed to fellow USDA Forest Service leaders.  BUT, do not be lost in the specifics.  Just grab your pan and start searching for gold.  There are many nuggets here for any leader.

LOTS OF WISDOM...

Attached is a zip file with four sub-files:

1. Photos (so you don't have to 'visualize')

2. Text (so you'll have the notes from the man himself)

3. His opening comments, addressed to 130+ leaders from Region 2 of the USDA FS as they embarked on a weeklong journey.

4. His closing comments, as they wound down.

Enjoy.

LouRomero,WisdomFromASage.zip (11.31 mb)

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind.  In the words of a dear friend of mine, "It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing milkbone undershorts!"

No doubt!

In the throes of consistent travel, long days, and barely-there weekends, the U.S. has elected a new President and my wife, daughter, and I were blessed to have three beautiful children from the Ugandan Orphans Choir stay at our home.  http://www.childcareworldwide.org/index.php?page=what_we_do&subpage=ugandan_orphans_choir

"Um, not seeing the connection, Blake" you say?

I'm getting there; bear with me...

In the wee morning hours following President-elect Obama's victory speech, at 1:00 AM, Steve Kroft sat and interviewed the four primary architects and strategists behind Obama's campaign victory.  In short, "We won," David Axelrod commented, "because we believed in our candidate."  In today's politics, that's saying a great deal, regardless of your partisan preferences.

The subsequent weekend, back at the Leath home, as we sat, ate, and talked with Eric, Savannah (tour directors), and three of the ten children comprising the 2008 UCO, Eric commented on what amounted to the communal nature of property in the Ugandan culture.  In summary, the "absence of mine."  As he spoke, I reflected on the recent campaign season and our need, worldwide, to find the balance between autonomy/independence and interference.  Between helping and distorting.  Between building bridges and tearing down walls.  Between occupying and liberating.  These balances are as rife with ethical dilemmas as the disagreements over stem cells research.  What is right to one is wrong to another, but regardless, we commit ourselves to asking and working through the answers to many difficult questions.  This is a responsibility that accompanies adulthood.

And to guide us, perhaps what we must learn to do is embrace the nature of the "absence of mine."

I am well aware, and recall in great detail from college and my continuing contemplation of ethics the importance of 'absolutes' and the difficulties that arise in their absence.  I do not dispute that reality, but in this particular instance equate it to the ancient question, "Why, when I point to the moon, do you stare at my finger?"  We must see the moon itself, and not lose ourselves prematurely in the means to get there.  We must see the possibility of approaching the world wide-eyed, rather than through my way, if we are to remain open and nimble and receptive to potentially better ways.

Together, we can forge a way forward.  We must.  And as my stack of newspapers from 11/5/2008 testifies, I believe we will.  I believe in hindsight, we will see 2008 as a watershed year.  And for those who, as I mentioned in an earlier entry, "Voted for McCain in their head, and Obama in their heart," have faith -- I believe everyone will be the better if, for no other reason, because of the QUESTIONS that are being asked and the wave of potential that lies in asking.  

In the words of a dear European friend who emailed me early on November 5th,  

If it can be imagined, it can be accomplished.  But not in the particulate; only in the aggregate.  Together, there's no telling what can be accomplished.  Here's to the future; to the brick that each of us must place in the wall of restoration, reconciliation, hope, accomplishment, and potential.

40,000 children die every day around this globe as a result of famine and sickness.  But with their trusting eyes and shaking hands they fix upon us and extend the seed of an answer... the absence of mine.

May we take it, plant it, and cultivate it to the point where it cannot be contained.  And in the doing so, may it teach us all. 

My wife and I both celebrated our birthdays recently.  (For the record, my wife is 364 days younger than me.)

In the late 1990s, my perspective on birthdays changed forever.  I had been out of town for several days, and when I returned to the office, everyone threw a huge party for me.  They wore funny hats, had 'vandalized my cubicle,' baked cupcakes, and sang songs.  Although it made me somewhat uncomfortable at the time, it was a powerful day nonetheless.

On a 'break,' I casually mentioned to a mentor of mine that I had never really taken birthdays all that seriously.  My mentor (whom I would later learn was battling lung cancer) commented to me with his glinty blue eyes, "Blake, don't ever rob another person of the opportunity to show you how much they care."

When Hulon Jennings passed away a few short weeks later, I promised -- not only to his memory, but to myself as well -- to never underestimate birthdays.  To allow people to go crazy if they wish.  To welcome the kind comments or accolades or pranks or whatever might come.

This past week, largely as a result of LinkedIn and Plaxo and, perhaps to a lesser extent, good 'ol fashioned memory, I received cards, emails, calls, texts, voicemails, and "singing messages" from people around the world and through the rearview of my life.  All told, some twenty-odd folks wished me well in the course of eight hours, and 130 participants in a workshop sang "Happy Birthday to You."  And while, before Hulon, I would have discounted and diminished the day, this time... I soaked it all in, smiled about it, and HEARD it.  In short, I found joy in it.

One card read, in part, "I was thinking of your upcoming birthday, and praying for you today.  Truly, I am thankful for you and your life, and excited to see what God has in store for the year ahead."  Thank you, David -- your card touches me deeply, as did the many well-wishes from so many who paused to think of me.

I am committed to getting better at acknowledging others in return, and to letting THEM know how much I love them as well.

I close with this truism from Maya Angelou who wrote, "Long after they'll remember what you said or did, people will remember how you made them feel."

Indeed.

And any great leader, which so many of us aspire to be, should remember this fact.  We must not, as Hulon counseled me, rob others of the mutual joy that arises from telling another, "I care about you.  You matter.  You exist, and were born on this day.  Enjoy my joy."

So the next time your birthday rolls around, back off a little, eh?  Give people the room they need to reach out and say, "I care."  After all, we are too often hard on ourselves and by discounting our birthdays, we discount ourselves and those who, despite our flaws, love us regardless.