Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Release Date: November 16, 2018
Review Date: November 13, 2018
Reviewer: Blake Leath
Genre(s): Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Action & Adventure, Family

I thought to myself as I entered the theater, "I should flip a coin. Will it be adult nerds, or families?"

Adult nerds.

And to them, everything seemed very high stakes and gasp-worthy.

To me, it was a monstrous contrivance, comprised primarily of three elements: (1) Western-like 'showdowns' on street after street, be they in London, Paris, or beyond; (2) Excessive FX (so much so that, without them, would there remain a movie?); and (3) Costumery galore! Amazing, immaculate, untouched and flawless overcoats, dresses, jackets, slacks, high heels, you name it. No matter how messy the scuffle that ensued, everyone's clothing remained pristine, wrinkle-free, and perfectly coiffed.

In the end, then, it's like watching a foreign film and not speaking the language.

Yeah, it sounds nice, but who's to say?

(Probably the 40-something in the row in front of me who hauled her books and scarf in and was unequivocally AGHAST at the EARTH SHATTERING character reveal.)

Oy vey, okay.

Thank U, Next.