The 5th Wave

Release Date: January 22, 2016
Review Date: January 24, 2016
Reviewer: Blake Leath
Genre(s): Tween

OMG…an insufferable film!

Ick.

Our overacting and scenery-chewing heroine, Chloë Grace Moretz, appears as though she has just popped off the cover of Vogue, despite having lived in the woods for several weeks on nuts and berries and without the benefits of running water, electricity, make-up, nail polish, hair brush, hair dryer, tweezers, and lighted 8x mirror.

And the men are all very metrosexual, with closely cropped facial hair, not unkempt beards.

It’s these incongruities that drive me crazy in tween survival films.

Arrrrrrrgh!

The first twenty minutes were almost bearable; the final hour and thirty-two minutes are cringe-inducing cheese to the max.

How Liev Schreiber and Maria Bello find themselves in this is beyond me. Must have needed to make a mortgage payment or something?

And Akiva Goldsman, who wrote the screenplays for I Am Legend and I, Robot and A Beautiful Mind must have written this one while taking a quick drag in the outhouse, 'cause it's a lazy stinker.

Pass.