The Huntsman: Winter's War

Release Date: April 21, 2016
Review Date: April 22, 2016
Reviewer: Blake Leath
Genre(s): Sci-Fi & Fantasy

We enjoyed it, but mostly cuz it was date night and felt good to get out of the house together.

Kinda weird film.

For a while there, I thought I was watching a remake of 1985's Legend, which also had dwarves, goblins, a bad guy with horns, a couple pretty protagonists, a magic mirror, flying sprites who trail golden dust when they zing and zart, and lots of forested activity!

But it's also got some Hook, Narnia, Lord o' the Rings, Hobbit, and Snow White DNA.

Kinda messy and sloppy that way.

The FX are fine; the acting is okay; the writing is pretty cheesy, but there are some amusing one-liners and moments, particularly between the four dwarves.

To me, Jessica Chastain is sorta the new Cate Blanchett. You either love her, or she makes your skin crawl. Here, she amounts to Evangeline Lilly in Michelle Pfeiffer's catsuit, but she's no Michelle Pfeiffer, so it's more like an SNL mom-jeans send-up.

Chris Hemsworth is his usual fisticuff self, so at this point I'm beginning to wonder whether he can act without wristlets.

Charlize Theron is slinky, as always, and Emily Bluntwhom I adoreperforms serviceably, but not memorably.

Anyhoo, no Oscars here. Shocker, right? No, not a shocker, nerd, facetiousness.

It's April, see, which is the rainy season outside and the dry season in. A few fun things are coming, though (Keanu and Mr. 'Merica himself), but for my money, perhaps the most enjoyable showings will be those forthcoming commemorations of Prince. Purple Rain is playing at Alamo tomorrow (11:30 AM), and at Studio Movie Grill on both Tuesday and Friday. His Magenta Majesty will be everywhere for a good, solid week, purpling cinematic veins everywhere. 

Whatever your tastes, things will be better come May, when Civil War breaks out, and spring appetizers give way to summer entrées.

Hang in there, movielover, and pass the popcorn already; I'm starved.