Transformers: The Last Knight

Release Date: June 21, 2017
Review Date: June 21, 2017
Reviewer: Blake Leath
Genre(s): Action & Adventure, Animated/CG, Sci-Fi & Fantasy

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? Every 2-3 years I get snookered into seeing one of these inane films, and every time it sucks!

This time is no different.

I guess I'm just an eternal optimist. Or an idiot. Or a sucker. Yep, a dolt.

Whatever. Roses by other names.

Transformers: The Last Knight would seem to have every advantage: it's Executive Produced by Steven Spielberg and stars Anthony Hopkins, Stanley Tucci, Marky Mark, Dreamboat Duhamel, and Guardians of the Galaxy mama, Laura Haddock. Moreover, George Lucas's Industrial Light & Magic did all the FX work.

Alas, it still sucks.

It's simply too fast, too noisy, too convoluted, too much. The usual cacophony of noise and preposterousness and confusion.

And lots of the tiny things become so dang annoying, like at least a dozen costume changes by the major characters.

Whilst walking to the car afterward, a couple cinephiles beside me nerded out on the fact that Laura Haddock's character dons a WW2 submarine romper, "and women weren't even allowed in subs 'til 2009."

Uh, okay, whatever, I'll take your word for it. But if that's your biggest beef, dude, you missed the last 2 1/2 hours...cuz there are MUCH bigger problems here than anachronisms.

I'm ranting now, so time to put the pixels down.

I think you know where I stand.